Just this week there has been drama in the poker X formerly known as Twitter space about a video posted by a content creator who referred to her “jugs”, as a joke on her video. Then another woman said it was an embarrassment, and a disgrace which she is entitled to her opinion!  This has then ensued women posting all over the Internet that women should support women and not say anything if they’re not going to say anything “nice”.

In this modern day and age, is it even appropriate to have the mindset of “women supporting women”, “men versus women” per say? The LGBQT community is so vast and diverse that many men now identify as women. Are we so entwined in our personal beliefs to think that we should blindly support women because we are women?

To put all this in perspective I called Lupe Soto, a prominent leader in the women’s poker market, and asked her if it is even relevant for us to say women should be supporting women or is it outdated?

On further discussion I asked Lupe how she stops men from entering women’s poker events. She told me she asks players to pre-register for the women’s event if there are no promotional laws in a State the event is being held. “Most men who enter women’s events are not really doing so to crash the party per se”.  They show up to play a tournament, and often times, the only scheduled tournament being offered is the women’s event. They just want to play some poker, so they enter the event. However, with pre-registration, it’s an “invitational-style” tournament. If you pre-register, you’re allowed to enter. If not, you can’t. The same rules apply for both men and woman who didn’t pre-register, they wouldn’t be allowed to enter.  However, in States where promotional laws exist, it is acceptable for operators to offer deep discounts to women vs men. They could use a player’s driver’s licence to determine the player’s status.  To contest the practice would be an issue for the State to address, not the operators as the law allows this promotional program.”

I find this very interesting, because in Australia our driver’s licence does not state male or female, eye colour, weight, height or race. After I spoke to Lupe, I looked at my Ex’s drivers’ licence from Nevada and it clearly did state sex, eye colour, weight and height. I then went through every single government document I have looking for what profiled me.  Only my passport and birth certificate class me as female. I spoke to the Australian passport office, and you can indeed now choose to have letter X in the male female option in lots of countries.  Could something so simple as not showing sex on a drivers license shift the entire mindset of a nation to not even make a big deal over gender?

In in the USA some companies now ask you to specify how you would like to be addressed as in; he, she, her, his.  In Australia this is never a question. If you want to identify as a male cat no one would really care and they would address you as a male feline.

I then spent the morning researching feminism all around the world and found in Australia women’s right to vote of European heritage full suffrage, meaning women were granted the right to stand for election and to vote in elections in 1902.  Australia was one of the first modern countries in the world to grant women of European heritage full suffrage, the right to vote and stand for election.  In the USA women’s suffrage all the rights of women to vote were established in the late 19th and early 20th century nationally in 1920 with the ratification of the 19th amendment to the United States Constitution.  Upon further thought I came to the realisation that the women versus men thing has never really been an issue of how I grew up in my country Australia however it is a issue in other countries were women do not have the right to vote one being Vatican City.  Only Catholic Church cardinals who must be male vote to elect the pope.

When I speak to my best friend and business partner who was born and raised in the USA, I understand her point of views and why she is a proud feminist. I was shocked to come to the realisation that in Australia we don’t even have sex on our driver’s licence and when I was married in the USA I did indeed have to state race, sex and all of the above on my legal documents.

To relate this to poker where usually 5% of the player fields in major tournaments are female, (Statistics provided by actual figures from tournaments in the USA and around the world). Some areas in the world, women are 3% or less of the field. Should there be an extra highlight on women supporting women?

Whilst I identify as a female, a ‘she’, I am by no means a radical feminist.  I don’t really think about it daily at all. I have never felt discriminated against for being a woman or ever made feel that I was less than for being a woman and I have worked for some of the most powerful men in the world; Australia’s Tony Doherty, a prominent business man who is Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s business partner, I’ve worked at Arnold Schwarzenegger Sports Festivals as the assistant event manager in Australia and Hong Kong, the White House press pool covering President Donald Trump’s 2020 election and I have worked in the racehorse world as a journalist/TV presenter/producer in Australia which is also a heavily male dominated sport.  All these men helped me.

During my divorce in Australia, I felt the court ruled in my favour because I was in fact becoming a single mother. I remember the judge telling me that if my ex-husband did not comply with the agreements or failed to provide that he would issue further documents to enforce his compliance.

When I divorced in the USA my divorce went through Las Vegas and then through the Pennsylvania legal system. In Australia the legal system is pretty much country specific with a few minor changes from state to state. In the USA the Pennsylvania family law was completely different to the Nevada family law.  Even with that in mind I didn’t really feel I was at a disadvantage being a woman. It was dealt with fairly. Although some of the process did have me raising an eyebrow.  Such as compulsory marriage counselling before the divorce is granted, that can be enforced by the courts if either party decides they desire it in the state of Pennsylvania.  That’s a whole other article.

So why would I then join a Women’s Poker Association and write for Women’s Poker News? Well in poker, 99% of the time I play and much to my delight, I am in fact the only female at the table. Hell to the yeah! I love men.  Having grown up with a father in construction, two brothers, two male cousins, four uncles and then having two sons myself I have rarely been discriminated against for being female.  In fact, I am probably more aggressive, forward, demanding and obnoxious than all the males in my family put together. It’s because they gave me the courage to do so, by giving me their unwavering support, my entire life. Lucky me.

Growing up with these boys, they would all gang up on me and I would cry to my father. He would tell me to outsmart them. “You can’t beat them by force, use your brains”.  I played the victim when my dad came home from work.  I knew I could as the only girl in my family, in fact I have used it to my advantage my entire life.

How I grew up, playing poker with mostly males or people that identify as male are why I feel so comfortable at the table. In fact, I feel more uncomfortable at a ladies lunch than a full on construction site.  In my life men have pushed me forward and advanced my causes, career, education more than women ever have. I have faced much adversity, tears and anguish from things women have done to me in my personal life and my career.

My favourite type of men are my friends that identify as gay. I get the best of both worlds. When I worked as a International Flight Attendant for 16 years,  60% of the staff identified as gay including the CEO, it was one of the best workplaces I’ve ever worked at.

I have many women approach me in the poker room and tell me they’re too scared to play because of all the men in the room, they are embarrassed, they feel intimidated, they don’t want to look stupid or make a mistake. I have friends that have told me how men have hurt them, mentally and physically therefore they are scared to be in a male dominated environment. This is why I support women’s poker events, ladies’ events as they are known because it helps introduce women to the game in a environment they feel comfortable in.  I personally do not feel comfortable in ladies tournament because I can’t bluff them like I can men and they don’t think I’m cute most of the time, or show me their cards because I’m cute.

Facts are if we want to grow poker the only way is by bringing women into the fields. I’m sure some men wouldn’t care less if women are brought into fields, some of them don’t want women there at all. I am aware we have all these opinions but that’s what they are, just opinions.  Maybe if we as women worked on our game and just played killer poker instead of arguing all over the internet we would see more women at the top, on TV and on the all elusive World Series of Poker Main Event Final Table.  Once again that’s my opinion.

I wanted to write this piece because we really need to think about how the world is evolving. We have diversity gender issues, disability issues and everything else in between. To make broad statements as women should support women just because we’re women doesn’t even make sense because any man can identify as a woman and I can walk in to any casino hand my Australian driver’s licence over and identify as a male cat.  Maybe we should say, support the person not the sex, not anything else that classifies them.

It is ironic I am writing this on Women’s Poker News, but I understand the need for ladies events and I do hope these ladies move on to play in open fields because that’s where the money is.  I write for Women’s Poker News were we don’t discriminate against anyone.  We support diversity and freedoms.  I am a mother of two boys and in my country of birth (Australia) we probably have more rights than men in general, I worry about them. It’s not a war of women versus men, it’s not support women because you’re a woman, support those who you believe in.  Haley I love you baby.  Abby keep pumping out content.  You do you.  This is just my opinion.  Now lets go play some cards and run over the table!